In like a lion..

Well, well, well, well, well Monday. You're March 1st. Goody for you. You bring spring, and I like spring, but I hate you. You're still an asshole.

I am bitchy as hell today. Why you ask so nicely, interwebz? I'll tell you. But first...shit's about to get TMI up in here, so if you don't want to know anything about my Lady Business, I suggest you get the eff out of this blog. Ok? Still with me? You're brave, internetz. I like that.

Here we go. My Lady Business seems to not know when to stop bleeding. We are on DAY ELEVEN of the Never Ending Period. DAY.ELEVEN. Normal Lady Biz knows to shut the fuck up in about 5-7 days. Not mine! Oh no, she wants to stay up all night long and chat. And by chat, I mean....well you know. I am in and out of the bathroom at least once every other hour. It's not fun, nor is it attractive. Lady Business? Give it a fucking rest before I ask the doctor to remove you. Comprende? Good.

Now, on to Monday. Monday sucks because I am sleep deprived. It is not fun to get out of bed on and off all night long. My workday was relatively easy today, so thanks for that.

Now, could there be anyone in the world that is MORE bitchy than me, internetz? The answer is: yes.

Phil is more bitchy than me, good interwebz. Why? Because when the Lady Business Amusement Park is out of order, he doesn't get to go on his favorite ride. If I didn't have a "thing" against us sharing our private parts with other people, I'd totally give him a pass. Unless of course a celebrity from his "list" shows up, naked and throwing herself at him....then he's allowed. Because let me tell you, internetz, if David Duchovny showed up here wanting to do the no pants dance, hemorrhaging Lady Biz or not, I am all over that.